Well, December was a nice birthday month. Yes, month.
Making things is one of my favorite hobbies. During my birthday week, I made a handful of custom hand-stamped notebooks for Etsy shoppers. Always fun! I’m nearly done with a felt owl I started in December. He needs his button pupils and his hat needs a pom pom. Then he will be ready. I knitted a purple wreath ornament at the beginning of December for a lucky lady in an ornament exchange I signed up for. As I watched the wreath begin to form, I realized nearly a year had passed since I knitted anything. How did that happen?
My husbandface made the most amazing chicken curry – one of my favorite things – for my birthday and again during our winter break. He knows I heart curry and he found the recipe online. It’s sooooo good. We spent a few days cooking, playing with the dog and watching movies.
My mom may have emptied Meringue Bakery of cupcakes on my birthday, y’all. She bought two of every flavor. I don’t know how the geniuses at Meringue make those treats so tasty, but I’m pretty sure their cupcakes are made with magic unicorn feathers. Yes, feathers.
I also got some face time in December with my MEND sisters. We may have only known each other a short time, but we are connected in a powerful way. I always walk away from our meetings lighter, stronger and more present. This was especially nice the day after turning 30, and just weeks before Christmas.
December 11 would have been the official due date for Liam and Sebastian. There is no sufficient word or phrase for how it feels to miss children who have died. “Sad” doesn’t quite cut it. So – for lack of a better word – I am sad they aren’t here. I will always be sad they aren’t here. I miss them every day. But sometimes I imagine them standing on either side of me and I feel like I could conquer the world.
So 2011 and my 20s are gone. Any naïve innocence that remained is gone too. But, while last year was absolutely the toughest I’ve ever experienced, I’m stronger every day. And I’m hopeful for a brighter 2012.
Here’s hoping my 30s will be a good decade!